Happy Birthday, ANKITA DIIDI! 🎂

Dear Ankita didi,

Happy birthday to you didiiddi. I am a bhullakad person, but this time i gave my best to remember your birthday, but still thought its on 28. Just kidding, hahah, I love you, I love you, I soooo freaking love you so much. And I am so proud of you, You have grown into such a beautiful person.

I am sooo glad, itsss your birthdayyyyy

diidi you are soo pretty

Sometimes when i think back in time, i get flashes of our childhood. A distinct memory that i get is, how you were getting ready for your farewell, you looked so happy on that day.

I know you will become such a successful person. I love it, that you love travelling and you are going to so many places. I pray that god be with you all the time, and give you lots of money, health and wealth and happiness.

Things I love about you-

• You have such a strong moral code.
• You actively seek growth.
• You are so motivating.
• You are my role model.

A little bit of rona dhona-

I know you won’t believe it, but I get so emotional whenever I think of you. It’s been so long since we last properly talked, and I know now that the problem was entirely me. I became so avoidant. I let myself believe this lie that I shouldn't talk to you, Mom, Dad, or Arpita didi because I felt like I wasn't "enough," or because I hadn’t achieved anything big yet. I know now how wrong that belief was, and that’s exactly why I started calling everyone again these past few days.

But thinking about you brings the most regret. We were so close from the very beginning. I literally cannot imagine my life or my core memories without you being a part of them. Every single beautiful memory from my childhood has you in it... literally. People talk fondly about their bachpan, but for me, my bachpan is completely you. You were truly the best thing that ever happened to me.

Sometimes I try to blame Sikar for making me this way, thinking that because you were sent there to study, we got used to only talking every few weeks or months. But looking back, I know that’s just an excuse. I should have been more present. I should have just picked up the phone and called you.

I know I am bad at a lot of things, but I also know I am good at a lot of things, too. And whenever I think about the best parts of myself and trace them back to where they started, it always leads straight to you. Aapne hi toh sab start kiya tha. Every good seed in my life was sown by you, didi.

If you would have asked someone in my class when i was in school, that who is my mentor and role model, i always said that it was you, even in my house captain speech it was you.

like reading, if it was not you who read me those roald dahl books, i would not have became a avid reader, you taught me how to speak well, how to be a good person. when i talk about you to other people, i talk like you are my devine energy. But i dont know how, an expressive person like me avoided you and stopped calling you,

I know that you feel that i lied to you about things but i was just a teenager and was scared. I beg your pardon didi.

Things I am grateful about you-

1. You helped me in everything, literally everything.
2. whenever i talk to you, you make me feel visible.
3. You always talk sense in me, alwayssss.
4. whenever i feel lost, you help me to get my bearing back.

I want us to be more close like we used to be. and i promise that i will be the best version of me, but please never leave me didi please. you are so much to me.

Didi, kuch din phle, i was so confused ki m kya kru, kaise kru, i was so demotivated, ki mera number kb aayega kuch bda krne ka, i was sooo lost... i asked myself, what do i want to become. nothing came to my mind. but then, i remembered something... i was watching your pictures... i want to become the person you saw in me, when i was a child. and i will do everything to become that.

and i so so love you... 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

p.s I know Arpita didi you are reading this too... and I love you soos ososoos much, i cant even tell in words. whenever i want to do something, the first thought that comes to my mind is, that i want you to be a part of it, before my success, i think of you being a part of it. i love you, and i hope you know that. you mean so much to me, so so so much